Wet

I lost my little flashlight, and I remembered that as I was hitching to the beach. But I decided my cell phone would be enough.

I camped at Makalawena beach, which requires miles of some rough walking over lava. When I arrived I saw the place swarming with locals, and the caretaker gave a 'Hui' to get my attention, except he was old and it was more of a "hoooouuwwwhheeeeezzeee." He hobbled over to me and asked that I was passing through. He's the guy who watches the house down there and fends off people like me -- he's got a reputation on yelp. I handled him and scurried on.

I hiked a good ways off the main beach to the little private slice I'd discovered last time I was here. Not unknown to all, it is at least well off the trail. I was still nervous that someone would come, and was checking incessantly. I'm getting wary from this. It's hard on the body, all those stress chemicals being pumped in over and over. I nearly worked myself into a wreck. Noises from the ocean waves, or lights from airplanes passing right overhead to the nearby airport. All of it rattles me.

I meditated for an hour, and wrote. I forgot that I need to keep writing outside of this blog. With an audience and some expectation to be linear, not to mention that I'm sharing all this through facebook and with my real name online, I can't let loose in the same way. It was good.

With my perspectives loosened up a bit I pondered how I got this idea in my mind to go on walkabout during the meditation retreat and it stuck. I 'saw' what I really want? I'm not sure. I had such clarity that I feel accountable to following through, to do this. I made the decision and I've stuck with it. So when I earlier asked "Is this a thing?" the answer is: this is a thing that I'm doing.

Watching what I do out there, and watching my fears, my nervous scanning... feels important.


3AM. Rain.

I haven't had to deal with rain, proper rain, camping here. I camp real light - A tarp halved over my sleeping bag. And I knew I was in for a humbling..

So I pull my backpack in to sleep with me and "secure" everything. Quickly, a pool of collected near my head and top of backpack. Then a stream. This isn't working at all; if anything the tarp is acting as a liner for my new beachside pool.

I accept my fate to be soaked myself and go in to save the gear. Within moments I'm drenched. And picture now this asshole using his cell phone as a flashlight in the rain. Oi. My sleeping bag is done, towel done, main bag and laptop and phone seem OK.

The rain comes down for maybe 20 minutes as I shiver under a tree, taking what comforts I have. I enjoy the ocean waves a moment. And reflect on the fact that I'm not unhappy or even all that stressed. Its people who stress me out.

Finally it subsides and I'm chilling at 3:30AM with all my sleeping gear soaked, shoes soaked, self soaked. Spirits high, but this is a great example of why my wrist is doomed to never get better -- In those moments I'm not so focused on that. And who am I kidding, getting in and out of hitch rides and carrying my bag in general hasn't been great.

So I try to make a fire but everything is wet. I remember I have a magazine and I use that. Slowly but surely I get a roaring fire with good, hot coals. My backpack is starting to dry. Still, I never get any real sleep but for a nap here or there. Wary.

I had to stay a lot later than I like in order for everything to dry. Somewhat of a suicide mission at this beach, where I've got ~3 miles of lava trail to walk and I'm waiting until peak sun to do it. That and I'm still nervous at being discovered.. But, as I'm doing a forward bend and taking some deep breaths, from upside down and between my legs I see.. dolphins jumping out of the ocean! Dolphins! This got me cheering. My first ever sighting. At least 50 of them, playing, jumping, spinning, flipping. The pod went by quickly but it made my long morning. This after watching whales breach, tail slap and blow water the night before.

I pack and finish my water(!) and make the grueling trek out of there. By the grace of Pele, I get a ride at the highway before I'm able to even set my bag down. That doesn't happen too often, but to have it happen right when I needed it.... nice.

Oi! I'm exhausted and I'm crying uncle! A bed! A shower! Hostel time...