Is this a thing

I'm going to see if 'walk about' is a thing. And I'm going to blog about it, not least because I need someone to talk to, even if its an audience in my head.

I finished a 10 day meditation retreat last week. During the 'tent time' I decided to hit the road and meditate. With a part time job I can work a few/ten hours a week from a cafe and enjoy beach and whatnot.

It's funny to look back on when doing this was just a muddled whisper. I mean 10 years ago, I had this thought about traveling and working like this. But figured I'd never be able to pull that off. I mean, how would I chase that goal? The idea of moving, dealing with my stuff, making new friends, finding such a job, and just the terrifying ambiguity of a new hell... I'd never have gone for it. And I didn't. But I came here and it has just come together like this. And it was doing the meditation where my fears fell away long enough to see what I want and to take this step. Leaving Ahu Lani wasn't easy, but it was past due.

And who knows. Is this a thing? I'm going to be sleeping on rock, or when I'm lucky, sand. Showering outside. Eating only food that doesn't require cooking. Being alone a lot. Putting my body through some rough movements given my apparent frailty (wrist injury still persistent; am on search for healer.)

But... it's the Big Island. Showering outside after a swim in the ocean during sunrise, and sometimes the water is warm from sun on the pipes. Fruit is plentiful and all you need on beach mornings. And being alone...

That's why I started this blog. I'm going to be alone but the hardest part of that emotion seems to be the feeling of being forgotten. That I'm out on this rock and unless someone knows me, I'm lost. I'm not adverse to facing this particular emotion... it'll come. And I'll be curious to see how journaling in this way permeates my mind... how many times I'll think, word, and re-word things I'll anticipate writing about my experience. Basically, how often I'll have fantasies where I'm real clever.

I know this island well enough now to take care. My own obstacle is in my head I'm sure. And my wrist :/ That will be a challenge. I have time to take consideration but lets face it... I need to use it some. And its not getting better. And thats all I have worked out about it. It's a tense situation I've chosen to endure without rationalization. Funny, though: its just the type of thing an excuse can latch onto, should I quit before I'm done.

Got a hot fifty from the coinstar and I'm ready to get in the water.